I always wanted a boob job. In all my years as a stripper, drug addict and a prostitute, my first big dream was to have my breasts done and really make some money. I mean that’s what life is about, big boobs, bras, booze, drugs, money and men (or women, if that’s your preference) right? It’s ironic how what you love turns on you and catapults you into a season of captivity, betrayal, truth and uncertainty.
October 4, 2013 my journal entry reads as follows…
Dear Father, Well I know you know what is going on. It looks like I have to have treatment and surgery because of my lumps. What kind of treatment? What is going to happen to my body? How is this going to change my life for the better? God in your Word it is written “all things work together for the good of those who love you. Those who are called according to your purpose (Rom 8:28).” Father, why now? Why in prison? I feel very alone. You are here. Sometimes I wish I could see you.
October 5, 2013
Dear God, It is cancer. Invasive ductal carcinoma-positive 95% nuclear staining, all red 5+3=8, positive 8% tumor. Father, you only I trust. Good things will come of this, I know it will. This is such an unfamiliar ground for me, I feel terribly alone. Why is this happening? Am I still being punished? I know there are many blessings ahead. It is so unfamiliar. I am scared. I know you did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. BREATHE. I need to breathe, deep breaths. Thank you Father for the strength to stand because this strength is from you and you alone.
I came to prison to do time for a D.W.I. and while I was looking for parole, I was told I had stage 2BA breast cancer. The UTMB oncologist told me they wanted to take both my breasts and I was going to lose my hair!
Since then, it’s been a wild ride to peace. My healthy body – which has endured harsh beatings from men and life, too many drug overdoses to count, numerous acts of sex without protection and drunk enough booze to drown the state of Texas – was betraying me. There was an unwelcome predator trying to kill me without giving me any warnings. This forced me into survival mode. The quest for the truth.
What is the truth? Am I going to die in prison? What do I have to do to live? This is when I really started to look to the Creator, the God who is in the miracle working business. I needed help.
Upon going into surgery for a double mastectomy in prison, I knew that when I woke up I would not be the same woman. I am not. The truth is nobody knows when they are going to die, but somebody somewhere has survived every cancer at every stage, why not me?
I’m not ready to give up, especially not in prison. The Word of God says, “ I call heaven and earth as witnesses this day and lay against you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life that you and your descendants may live. (Deut 30:19)” I want to live and tell everyone what God has done in my life.
I had my last round of chemo on April 29, 2014, and yes I did lose my hair. This experience has left me with the uncertainty of life and how short and precious each moment of breath is. However, through my season of pain and adversity, I am met with an unshakeable peace and hope.
I always wanted a boob job. Now I have one thanks to T.D.C.J and the amazing doctors who helped save my life. Before I came to prison I was so broken and had no regard for my life. I left pieces of myself everywhere and little did I know that God was behind me picking them up, so He could put me back together piece by piece.
As I look in the mirror, a revelation comes to mind. I see scars on my body from when I tried to take my life and now I have scars on my body from when I fought for my life. My hair is starting to grow back and I’m still doing time but I thank God, everyday, I am alive, healthy and perfectly flawed.
Lorie Longoria is serving 20 years in prison for 3 DWIs.
Lorie Longoria #1804119
Carol Young Medical Facility
5509 Altwater Av
Dickinson, TX 77539