Deirdre McDonnell writes about what it means to feel lonely in prison and how small daily choices can help transform isolation into moments of purpose and connection.
Being away from loved ones can make a person feel deeply lonely in prison. Loneliness prompts all kinds of emotions. As women, we can be emotional, irrational, impulsive, and indecisive. Being in prison only exacerbates those feelings. Since not all of us are riding on the coattails of an FI-1, our situations are not going to immediately change. Therefore, we must change ourselves.
What if we could implement a few healthy distractions that leave little or no time for getting inside our heads?
For those of us who need more than just encouraging words, let me share how I have begun to feel less buried in myself.
Today I carried a woman’s chain bags to the gate. I plucked the stray hairs from my eyebrows, wrote a letter and sent it snail mail—handwritten, not an e-message. I did 50 sit-ups and squats, meditated for 10 minutes, and counted my blessings at the end of the day.
It doesn’t seem spectacular, does it?
Small Actions, Big Changes
If I define that list by categories, it looks like this: I did something for someone else, did something for myself, did something I didn’t want to do but that needed doing, completed a physical exercise, practiced a mental exercise, and acknowledged my blessings.
It was only when I began practicing these small precepts in prison life—not prison culture—instead of simply passing through the days that I began to experience joy in unexpected places.
I now wake up eager to live—truly live—in the moment. Whether it’s jogging on the rec yard, reading The Echo and appreciating other people’s writing skills, or letting go of the need to be right during a disagreement with someone, I find something meaningful in each day.
Living With Intention
When I took the time to do something for myself and something for someone else, I discovered that I had more energy.
Hence the saying: A body in motion stays in motion; a body at rest stays at rest.
These simple precepts have taught me that the same is true for the mind. Movement—physical and mental—can ignite a sense of contentment through healthy distractions.
I hope you will make this same positive mental ascent. I hope these precepts become such a natural part of your life that you begin responding without planning—to see a need and act on it, to approach your own needs and the needs of others with intention and attention.
In doing so, you may even find a deeper meaning in the overused cliché:
“Do your time. Don’t let time do you.”
Diedre McDonald #1899246
Crain Unit
PO Box 660400
1401 State School Road
Dallas, TX 75266
