When I walk through the towers to be processed out and I walk through the final gate, no, my mom won’t be there because I decided to save her a little money by taking the Greyhound. If my mom doesn’t meet me at the station, I will only have to walk four blocks to my house. Yes, this is the long way home. Nevertheless… I am sure my new world will be welcomed with warm hugs and kisses.
But when looking for a job, do I get it on the internet? I have some websites to look up, but should I also look in a newspaper? My last resort is to go with my mom over the road. She just got her commercial driver’s license (CDL) so she’ll get paid to drive around the country. But I’ll only join her if my Social Security fails. If it’s good, I can get a job part-time. Hopefully, my life isn’t hell. If I’m going to save the world, I have to be real. I am going to give up drinking heavy liquor. I’ve never been to AA. I have to do it on my own or else I might get into trouble. I should have nothing to fear.
Maybe I can save money for trucking to find an apartment, then after that, some land for farming. I may never need a friend to go into business with. I used to be a plumber, so when I’m stable with my land, I will fall back on that. Maybe I can try to get my licence so I can do something more when I settle on my farm. It’s a long way to heaven as far as I’m concerned…
I hope I don’t get into drugs like when I was thirteen. Slamming coke will definitely send me back to the Pen.
I want to save up to help pay off my mom’s mortgage and maybe a few bills, so she doesn’t get into trouble and go under. After I save her from debtors, I can make my move and be free from home into the big world. I want to help her while she helps me. To give her blessings instead of curses. God knows we’ve both been through that. I do this so she doesn’t get mad, because I love her with all my heart: she is my mom.
It’s going to be hard when I get out. I have messed up my whole life; the fun is over. I have never had a program in prison because they promote recidivism. It’s in their best interest to keep me here. They get so much money from the government. They have been trying to case me for two years. I don’t have the privilege of parole or re-entry programs. I have completed my sentence in its entirety, the first time around. Yes, this is my first time down. If anything happens and I become a problem for my mom, I will leave — and man it all by myself. Yes, I will be hard-up for employment, money, and housing. If this happens, I’m not likely to prevail. Yes, we’re going to try it together, mom. This is my last ride. I love you more than life itself –– more than anything in the world. So let’s keep it together for a couple more months…
Kyle Roberts #1173831