Was he gay for the stay?
We met at the intake unit here in the prison, and he happened to be my neighbor’s bunkie. There was something about his energy that pulled me towards him. We talked everyday and it was pure and endless and just…..FREE, all things considered. I could be myself for once in a long time. Yea, I fell for someone double my own age, but the whole experience had been crazy anyway, so why not take the chance with getting to know someone new.
After a few months, we actually ended up in the same cell together. One guy made a big deal about it after hearing I was bisexual, even though he never actually got to know me, but we didn’t care. This amazing guy with a kind-hearted spirit said screw what others think. His motto was, “I’m just going to do me.” It’s my motto too. Sure I made mistakes to be here in prison, but one mistake I won’t make is going back in “the closet.”
When we got placed in our new unit, our own private cell, things started to heat up. He told me he wanted to explore and see where things go. I was open to the idea so we rolled with it. I don’t want to be too graphic with the details but we had lots of good conversation, and in the words of Samantha from Sex and the City, we “colored in and out of the lines.” Making out, being intimate, you get the idea.
He managed to get minimum security at a minimum prison in the Milwaukee area. Before he was moved, he made sure I wanted to still pursue our relationship when he got released back into society and of course I said yes.
It was pretty off and on, hot when we were together but colder when he moved on with his life in the “real world.” I chose to stop fighting off my feelings for him and accept there was something there. I can’t explain how much this changed my ideas about a relationship.
He was married before prison and had two kids. Since his release, he’s gotten divorced from his wife. The divorce was obviously not my fault, however, the insecurities of being with an openly bisexual man behind bars who you can see made things a little difficult. He’s always worried that I will find someone else in here, or on the streets, but I know that won’t happen.
There are rules that aren’t meant to be crossed or broken in the “community” 1. Never sleep with a married man. And 2. Set rules early that’ll apply later in the relationship. I didn’t follow either of those rules, but it seems like we are going to be alright.
I have no idea where the future will take us, but I made it clear that if he needed to get laid or see a woman when he got out, he could. So often in the bisexual world it becomes an issue or a phobia that the man will flip flop the gender they sleep with during the relationship. This is really just been a stereotype that should be erased because not every bisexual person lives that life.
I get out in 2022, so it will be a while before I get to see him like that again. We call each other every day. It’s my favorite part of the day besides calling my mother. For our future plans, I just want to have a place with him. That’s goal number one. Other than that I don’t plan for the future, you just have to let it happen. Until then, stay tuned.