Jayson Scott Slaymaker reflects on friendship in prison and the pain of knowing that separation from close friends is inevitable.
Prison isn’t easy on friendship. In fact, it’s downright hostile to the whole idea. All of us know that at some point, regardless of how much we may like and respect a person, we’re going to be separated. Maybe it’s just to another wing, but maybe it’s to another part of the system or even release from the system. So the smart thing to do is never become too attached to someone, never think of them as anything more than an “associate.”
For the most part, this isn’t too difficult. I mean, there’s no shortage of assholes in prison, but I’ve met some pretty good people as well. Granted, in the 34 years that I’ve been doing time, you could count those guys on one hand. But that makes them all the more memorable when they’re taken away.
Two Good Friends
Two of those guys I’ve met on this unit and am serving time with right now. That doesn’t happen too often. In fact, you’ve probably got a better chance of bankrupting Vegas than you do of knowing two guys in the state penitentiary who you consider good friends. But I know two such guys.
Until earlier today, we were all on the same wing together. Because we didn’t all live right next to each other, it made conversation other than “how ya doing, ya need anything” difficult. But in a hostile environment such as this, just knowing friends were nearby made the hard times a little easier.
Separated by a Hallway
Today I was moved across the hall. I might as well have been moved to the moon. One of them I’m not sure I’ll ever see again. We may get word of each other or have regards passed, but sitting around “chopping it up” probably won’t happen again. That’s not easy knowledge to have.
The other guy I’ll probably meet up with again somewhere a little farther on down the road. We’ve both been around awhile and still have a ways to go. That’s a bit of a comfort.
What Men Aren’t Allowed to Say
These are sentiments I could never say to their faces. As men, society doesn’t allow us to. As men in the penitentiary, it would come across as “faggoty.” We’re allowed to say “it’s good to see you again” but not “I’ll miss you when you’re gone.” But that’s not to say we don’t feel it.
The Pain of Friendship in Prison
Friendship between men is a special thing. Women will experience nothing like it. And in an environment that’s hostile to friendship, that makes it all the more difficult when friends are gone. In prison, you know that sooner or later they will be.
