If you’re standing up, you might want to take a seat! Because I truly believe my story has the potential to blow your mind!  (J/K LOL.) At least I think it’s that interesting. Anyway, especially if you’re the “average joe” type of person.

Both of my parents were heroin addicted “hippies.” On April 11, 1983 I was born. My small infant body was withdrawing from heroin. I was a drug baby! My system that day tested positive for every drug under the sun, which included but not limited to: alcohol, heroin, meth, marijuana, LSD and tobacco.

The doctors said it was a miracle I wasn’t severely retarded with all the substances that were in my system. I was a perfectly healthy eight pounds eleven ounces.

Anyhow, I never allowed that to be the excuse to be a screw up! I chose to go down the wrong path in life. I began my criminal lifestyle at the tender age of eighteen. My drug addiction had everything to do with the criminal activities I engaged in.

At 13 years old I was a full- blown meth monster! I’ve done everything under the sun to feed my addiction. I’ve done everything I said I wouldn’t do. I have lied, stolen from my family, sold my body, stolen car rings, fraud, one night I even sold my soul to the devil! Literally! Not a very good decision on my part! I think the good lord up above is still punishing me for that one.

I’m 31 years old and I have been in prison all my adult life. I am currently serving 32 months for battery on an officer with injury. This is my 6th term [prison sentence]. I have been in and out of prison since the age of 20 years old. I think my total times in prison is seventeen actual times! Honestly, I lost count after fifteen.

I grew up in the system. California Department of Corrections and the State of California has raised me. As hard as I tried not to be “institutionalized,” I am. I have severe OCD disorder that I struggle with. I’m very militant. It’s sick to a normal person.

In prison if you’re not nice and neat and tidy and clean you’ll become a bull’s eye for bullies. A target so to speak. If you exhibit weakness of any kind you’ll be labeled a “punk” or a “bitch.” Luckily for me my dream in life was to be a female professional boxer. I can box pretty damn good. Still currently undefeated!

In prison it’s such a hostile negative environment. It’s either sink or swim; eat or be eaten. It’s very important to be able to adapt to your surroundings. It’s mandatory to observe all the different type of styles how people live. Especially in such confined quarters. We live eight grown women to one very small room, 2 sinks and mirrors, one shower and one toilet. So it’s vital to learn and master the dynamics. How to operate in such a small living area.

I’ve mastered all the tricks of the trade to the prison life. Women are so disgusting at times. I am so glad I was raised properly, proper hygiene, education, manners and morals. A lot of these women are like children. Either they don’t know any better or they just don’t care. These women get beat up a lot lately.

But it does beat solitary confinement. I experienced this for five months once because I couldn’t play nice with others! I was being very defiant and could not, would not, comply with the rules. If you get 3 or more 115’s (which are disciplinary write-ups), all your privileges will be taken away. This includes canteen, phone usage, packages, recreation time or yard, etc. Solitary is living in a small cage literally. There’s a toilet connected to the water faucet. A bunk that’s it, that’s all. You’re locked in 22-23 hours a day. That was too intense! It drove me bonkers! Damn near! And the mental health services they offer here sucks! These doctors are total quacks! All they want to do is highly medicate you. Talk about total sedation. No thank you. Walking around like a zombie! Literally doing the Thorazine shuffle! It-s what we call overmedicated inmates. I suffer from bi-polar disorder and manic depression. I choose to deal with my mental issues other ways such as writing, meditation, prayer.

This place reminds me of ground hog day! A never ending nightmare that has been my reality for the past 12 years. I’ve been on the same CDC # for 12 years straight. I’ve been on parole since 2004. My last two terms were due to meth-induced psychosis. My brain can’t handle the meth anymore. I malfunction and get highly paranoid and extremely delusional.

In this case, I caught it in the County Jail of San Diego. I was only serving a minor parole violation and actually was scheduled to be released when I slipped into a psychotic episode. Needless to say I was never released. I was up for 4 days. I believed I was a demon trapped in a government warehouse. I had an out-of-body experience. I was tasered six times. I was rushed out via ambulance to UCSD Hospital and was unconscious for approximately 12 hours. I was denied medical attention and was transported back to the facility without further ado.

I believe my constitutional rights were violated. But I’m a convicted felon, so no one believes me when I say those deputies in my county jail were corrupt. They were allowing the PC inmates [in “protective custody,” a form of solitary confinement] to bring in the drugs inside the jail. They are more crooked than I am! But that’s a whole other subject!

I tried to submit a lawsuit against the officers for excessive use of force but I presented the claim too late. It was never submitted. What’s crazy is it’s all on file – they videotaped it – twelve officers assaulting me. But I was the assailant supposedly. Honestly, the truth is fuzzy in my mind…

Anyways, I believe prison is a cruel and unusual punishment for a drug addict in prison such as myself. I was never a violent offender. It was always serious non-violent offenses. But my last two cases, I was in a meth-induced psychotic violent episode and that has painted the picture of me being a monster. I was not in the normal mental state of mind. But due to my extensive criminal history, it was disregarded. The impact on my family has totally destroyed my family life.

My biological grandmother, who is my adoptive mother, has been the only one to love me unconditionally and has financially supported me every single prison trip. She does not, however, trust me or believe anything I say. But thank god she hasn’t completely turned her back on me.

Today I graduated and successfully completed the drug program here. 150 days of treatments. I am scheduled to be released in March 2015. When I get out, I’m planning to get my certification in drug and alcohol counseling.

But I’d like to target the younger adolescents so that hopefully I can help and prevent the lifestyle I led, which ultimately only leads to jails, institutions and death. In hopes that the children of the future have a future.


 

Valerie Baker # W99026

Central CA Women’s Facility (516-06-3L)

PO Box 1508

Chowchilla, CA 93610[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]