10 Tips For Surviving Prison

YOU can survive prison.

You have it within yourself to make it through some years in the joint. It won’t be easy, it won’t be fun, but you can make it through to the other side and back out again, no matter who you are.

You’ll have to follow some rules for your mind, your body, and your spirit to survive in prison in one piece and come out again whole. Listen to someone who’s survived in prison for over half of his life, and you can make it too.

Here’s how to keep your head, body, and bottom safe in prison.

MOST people don’t die in prison, but few people survive to be the same afterwards. Placed into a dangerous environment, confined to a cage around some of the most toxic-minded people in the country, you have to protect your physical well-being, quite possibly your sexual well-being, and also your emotional and mental well-being. And living in this environment, and protecting yourself, comes easier to some people than others.

While most [but not all] people incarcerated for a term of years make it to the outside again, only a small percentage survive a longer sentence without at least a part of them dying in the process. How can you make it out without actually dying, without being victimized, or without losing yourself to the time? How do you survive to make it back to the free world… and make it there whole?

Here’s how to keep your head, body, and bottom safe while doing time.

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1.) PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF
I want you to think back to high school, but imagine a fence surrounding it. And replace all the members of the opposite gender with testosterone-injecting jocks. And then picture the teachers as not teaching at all, but merely being there to corral you, reprimand you, and occasionally hand you pieces of paper. Throw in a few shanks, desperation and a lot of frustration, and the image created in your mind is probably not too far off what prison is like for most people. Just like in high school, your status -and well being- is going to have a lot to do with your image and how people perceive you. Be confident without being arrogant, be cool without being conceited, and strong within yourself without being cocky.

If this doesn’t come naturally to you, think to some of your favorite actors that exude these traits without needing to be overly-violent: What would Humphrey Bogart, Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, Ryan Gosling or even Kevin Hart do in this Situation? All of these guys could coast through prison relatively easily.

2.) DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN VICES, Especially if You Have Problems With Them
There’s opportunities for every type of drug, as well as homemade alcohol, a lot of gambling, pornography, and some kinds of sex (if that’s your thing). A lot of people dive headfirst into one, or more, of these to take the edge off the hardship of their sentence, some guys do so to be part of the crowd. Other prisoners will always try to push you into one vice or another, and then push you to do more. Predators are always peddling these to lure you in, to get you caught up, desperate, or in a position where you owe them. Don’t be afraid… but be aware. And unless you’re already socially savvy in a prison setting, it’s best to just say no in general.

3.) WATCH AND LEARN and learn some more…
How do the guys who’ve been in prison for a long time act? Who looks like you and seems to be doing well in the joint, and what can you learn from them? Who are the aggressive people, the natural leaders? What motivates them, and how can you use this to your advantage? Who are the punks and how can you avoid being lumped into a category with them? Pay attention and observe the way the people around you interact. Figuring things out before a dangerous confrontation happens is worth as much or more for your safety than your ability to fight.

4.) HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL
Hopefully you already know: don’t be a rat. But just as important is that you don’t even seem interested in others or their business. If you seem like you’re trying to listen in or are watching other people, you might be perceived as a snitch or potential-snitch. This will not be good for you… so keep your eyes forward, and if other prisoners you don’t know start talking about something against the rules, find a reason to leave to keep from being thought of as a fly on the wall that might need to be smushed.

5.) DON’T ACCEPT GIFTS OR OWE ANYONE
Yeah, that bodybuilder twenty years older than you is offering you shots of coffee or ramen because he respects your brand-new, fish-ass SO much… . Think of it like this: if you’re new, you’re not cool. You have to earn that over time. So if someone you don’t know is treating you like you are right away, they’re probably trying to soften you up (maybe for sex, maybe for money, maybe to boost their own ego and status by treating you as their “son”). Politely decline. You’ll get more respect if you go without for awhile and earn what you have.

6.) FIGHT WITH THE MIND as well as Fists
You might have to fight for your safety. If someone puts their hands on you, spits in your face, or steals from you right before your eyes, you’re going to need to fight… (and if you don’t know how, I recommend choosing to commit fully, aim for the nose, keep swinging straight at them, and stay on your feet). Even if you lose, you’re better off fighting at times like these, and there are people who will respect your heart. A real man can accept getting a beating… but a real man doesn’t just take being treated like a punk.

The fights you don’t have to fight because you were smart enough to redirect the other person before violence becomes necessary are just as good, or even better, than some well placed punches. Learn the proper etiquette, learn how to talk to people, and listen to your instincts when a particular person seems ‘off’. Stay around people you have something in common with, and get a good sense around, until you know your way around (as long as these people don’t have a negative reputation themselves). If you’re a fish, don’t brag or try to be “the man”. Talking about how much money you have, about things you’ve accomplished, or about sex or politics can draw things out of others that you don’t want to deal with. Change the conversation to something else – sports, food, or anything else – and you’ll be better off.

7.) DON’T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR LOVED ONES for money (or Anything Else)
American prisons are captive markets for capitalism (pun only somewhat intended). There are multiple, competing, multimillion dollar companies that compete for contracts to sell items to inmates. There are things that are available for purchase, and things you’ll want to buy in prison. Most states will let you buy a small television, a book light, and some allow a miniature tablet. You’ll need to buy hygiene items like toothpaste and soap from commissary, and you’ll want to buy some food too (sometimes there’s even options to buy painting supplies or a compact musical instrument). These are items you can save up the money you earn in a prison job for months or years to buy, or you might have loved ones who will help you out. There’s nothing wrong with accepting some help, but don’t take advantage of them by constantly asking for money. They have their own lives to live, and it’s expensive to accept phone calls from you or visit you. Don’t try to get your grandmother to go through the process of transferring money so you can fuel an in-prison drug habit, and don’t tell your father that people are going to harm you if you don’t pay them because you ran up a gambling debt (both conversations I’ve overheard often on the phone). These people love you, and they will help you. Take care of yourself, and don’t use them up. You’ll be a better person, you’ll keep the relationships you need for your mental health and for the future, and you’ll have those people still willing to help you when you are released. Too many people burn bridges when they’re in prison, asking -or even demanding- assistance for their own problems. Keep your bridges… they’re worth it, and you’ll need them.

8.) STAY OCCUPIED, BUSY, LEARNING
If you don’t find a way to stay busy with something positive, your mind is going to wander into thoughts of escape, assaults, drugs, bad tattoos, or an assorted medley of bad decisions that can harm your present and future self. I know this because everyone in prison thinks about these things when they’re not focused on something else. But, you can find things to do, ways to help yourself, and can develop skills that might help you achieve what you want after you’re released. In prison, I’ve become a great tattoo artist, earned an Associate’s Degree, gotten carpentry certifications, and I’ve learned how to play the guitar, how to cook exceptionally well, some basics of the law, how to write well, and how to garden. I could have done even more had I not admittedly spent a bunch of time earlier in my sentence focusing on those specific negative things I caution against above. I know guys in prison who’ve become fluent in other languages, earned Master’s degrees, some who’ve mastered martial arts, a few who’ve learned to paint and have had paintings displayed in fine art galleries, and a couple prisoners who’ve published fiction and nonfiction books. These are just examples of things you can work on. Use this opportunity to change the path of your future.

9.) ACT WITH DIGNITY AND GRACE: Avoid Self-Pity and Focusing on How Bad Everything Is
Accept what you have to, change what you can. Overcome, and endure. Do so with dignity and grace, even when it’s hard, and you’ll be better off for it yourself and might even inspire and help others. Or fall into the pity-party, act grumpy, complain constantly, be full of anger, and think about how nobody knows how bad you have it and how you deserve more than they do because of it. I fell into this hole for awhile in the middle of my twenty-five year sentence, after injuring myself in prison and being overcome with frustration and loneliness. The more I let myself into this way of thinking, the more unhappy I was, and the harder I made it for those around me and who cared about me. Don’t make the same mistake. I have more peace inside, am able to help others, and what I’ve been through has some meaning today because I follow a better path than my ego led me on.

10.) DECIDE WHO YOU WANT TO BE after release
Most people will get out of prison someday. And, because the recidivism rate for ex-cons as high as 85% in some regions, the time after release is a part of the prison experience that you have to survive as well.
The two most common mistakes people getting out of prison make are going back to their old way of living, and trying to make up for lost time. Both of these lead in bad directions. Psychology plays a big role too: a lot of ex-prisoners get out of prison angry about what they just went through, feeling that they deserve more than others who haven’t endured what they had to during their incarceration. Instead, savor the newly free moments, remembering what it’s like to go without them. And when your new life presents you opportunities, don’t view them as things you’re entitled to or that you automatically deserve… but things that you want to deserve, and them demonstrate why you do. I’ve known a number of people who’ve gotten out of prison to be very successful, and this is the attitude they all have in common.

Five Bonus Tips:

* Don’t slouch or walk too quickly – these will make you appear weak and nervous.

* Do what you can to look older: grow a beard if you’re able, don’t wear your hair long.

* Work out and put on some muscle. If you have a chance, learn some fighting techniques (mixed martial arts or Krav Maga)

* Learn about how major gangs work, their symbols and colors, and pay attention to who interacts with each other.

* Keep yourself clean: a lot of violence occurs because one cellmate smells bad or carelessly intrudes on the other persons personal space with things like dirty clothes.